OPEN THE LETTER, BITTE(Please)!
Dear My Brain,
First of all, I would like to apologize for sending you this seemingly-complaint letter. The weather has been cool as it has been raining since yesterday here. Thank God the flood is not coming.I am sorry for the unnecessary weather report. I was only trying to help you cool down.
I know how you have been loyal to me after all these time. I always got good marks when I was still at school, I passed the university degree with flying colors, and I have been giving some creative ideas to teaching and learning purposes, optimistically saying. I shall thank you once again, I believe not only once have I said “Thank you” to you, but really you have been helping me a lot. I know how you have been so nice to me after all these times.
Do you remember the old time when you tried to “force” me jot down what I had been thinking of on a red diary? Time changes, Miss. I no longer have any contacts with those diaries. This is not meant to discard you of course. I know you know that time changes, especially when it comes to technology. I do still appreciate you in so many ways. I do want to show my appreciation to your loyalty. But I have a confession to make, I hope you are not going to go ballistic.
We both know that you have been giving me a lot of ideas to write. You have been telling “Write, write, and write” since I knew how to arrange sentences with alphabets in my own language; Bahasa. You encourage me ” Forget whether you are going to be a writer someday, just write!” I know even though it is not for a career yet, but it is still quite relieving fact that I have piles of ideas to share with either my readers or passers-by. I am aware those ideas are originally coming from you. And you have the integrity to ask me to elaborate the ideas into a nicely read piece of writing. But, here is the confession; I am kinda nervous to tell, but I have to. My words have been blocked by some sort of invisible creature (I do not intend to say that it is a GHOST), but it seems that I have lost my words. I do not seem to be able to find a perfect sentence to begin my story with. The worst thing is that it is not even a sentence, but a WORD, only a WORD. Excuse me dear My brain I did not mean to yap at you with the capital letters I used. I was only trying to emphasize it to express my sadness to the death of my ability to find a WORD to begin my story with. How can I discard (read : share) the ideas you have given me to my readers? It is quite shameful with seven days of taking a leave without any single note or piece of writing to share. I am afraid my ability to write leaves me with no reasons.
Dear My brain, my beloved brain. Perhaps the “problem” is that ich habe kein Lust – as my other German brain told me, please do not be jealous. Let me translate : I just don’t have the spirit to write. Perhaps, I have had other things to do, or another possibility; you just do not seem to be helpful. Wait! one more possibility, I just need to think of the PERFECT WORD to start with, because I am a perfectionist.A total perfectionist who will not do anything if it turns out to be so imperfect. In other words; I let myself become idle because of the perfectionism inside me.
My letter is to ask you for a help to free my blocked words, so that I can start to discard (read: share, you know that) the ideas you have given me. My job is elaborating your ideas, and I am going to need your help. Please,in this cool weather, I hope you are feeling cool enough to help me free my blocked words. As soon as they are freed, I promise you a flood of stories to share.
Now, excuse me,I have to run some errands. Thank you for listening! I hope you are smiling now instead of crying or giving me some scary grimace. I love you a lot. Reply is needed when you think you can.
Your slave as well as your best friend, Lu2